NEW FEDERAL LAW RESTRICTING FREE PRESS - INCLUDiNG BLOGGERS
In
light of the NY "assault weapon" ban, and whereas it is universally acknowledged
that the pen is mightier than the sword, I have some reasonable, common-sense
restrictions to place on the First Amendment. These measures will keep Americans
and their children safe from disinformation, misinformation, and hate
speech:
1.
All photocopiers and printers shall be registered with the Federal government.
Any sale or transfer of a photocopier or printer will require fingerprinting,
photographing, permission from the chief law enforcement officer of the
city/county, a $200 fee, and a permission slip from the Federal government.
Possessing an unregistered photocopier or printer shall result in up to 10 years
in Federal PMITA Prison.
2.
Photocopier and printer paper trays shall only hold 7 sheets of paper.
Possessing a paper tray of over 7 sheets of paper shall result in up to 10 years
in Federal PMITA Prison.
3.
All pens and pencils shall be registered with the Federal government. Possession
of an unregistered pen or pencil shall result in up to 10 years in Federal PMITA
Prison
4.
ALL purchasers of pens and pencils shall be subject to a background check (this
will close the infamous "OfficeMax Loophole"). Willful evasion of this shall
result in up to 5 years in Federal PMITA Prison.
5.
All sales of printer/copier/looseleaf/construction paper over 1000 sheets will
be reported to the Federal government.
6.
Anyone who wants to post on facebook or any other Internet discussion forum must
apply for a license that puts their real name and address, username, and
password into a registry with the Federal Government, and re-apply for that
license every 5 years. Failure to do so or providing false information shall
result in up to 10 years in Federal PMITA prison.
Now,
you may say this sounds extreme. But when you look at the costs to society of
libel and slander, and the children whose lives have been lost to cyberbullying,
those who oppose these common-sense reasonable restrictions must examine their
consciences. Besides, these rules still preserve Americans' rights to "free
speech" meaning verbal speech, as the Founding Fathers did not intend for
civilians to own such Weapons of Mass Deception that copiers and printers can
become in the wrong hands. And of course, in the interests of preserving the
"freedom of the press," (which does not include bloggers, as the Founding
Fathers had no concept of the Internet), accredited journalists and members of
the national media shall be exempted from these laws.
h/t EW
"Common sense solutions", as Obama would state.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog entry!
Maybe they can even set it up to file charges for hate speech by proxy against you if you don't 'Like' every government approved Facebook site in such a 1984 world.
ReplyDelete