Who's the Blond?
These pictures prompted a small avalanche of msgs all asking the same question: “Who’s the blond!” Rather than provide her name, address, measurements, and phone number (now 42 years later), here’s the bigger story of who she was, how she got there, what was going on, and what was Dudley Moore like anyway?
BW
A week
before, we were booked at a popular watering hole to host what was originally
dubbed as Atlanta’s Best Butt contest, sponsored by a certain blue jean maker
and its Atlanta outlet. For obvious publicity purposes, the name was changed to Atlanta’s Best Jeans. Of course, no one caught on!
The evening
of the contest had my partner and me on a flatbed trailer in the parking lot of
the mall where the sponsoring bar was housed. Contestants came up wearing the
sponsor’s jeans and the audience selected the winning… jeans... based on how well
each contestant took the shape out of the sponsor's product.
Being the
shy, reclusive type, I told my partner, “Hold my mic!”, leapt off the stage, and
bounded over to where they were hangin’ out.
Walking
quickly right up to the unsuspecting pair, I nodded to him, put out my hand to
her – which she took – and said, “Hi, I’m Brian Wilson of the Nearly-Famous
Ross & Wilson Show. Thanks for coming out this evening. Listen, we’re
hosting the premiere of the movie 10 with Dudley Moore next Friday at the
Perimeter Mall. Dudley himself is gonna be there…we’re going to host a beauty
contest, watch the movie and have dinner at Brennan’s with Moore and some of
the cast. Would you like to come along? Great!” Without waiting for her answer,
I grabbed a cocktail napkin off the bar, and said, “Look, I gotta get back up
there…just put your name and phone number on this and give it to a waitress.
I’ll call you tomorrow. OK? Excellent!” Turned, gave the speechless scribbler a look, and hustled back to the stage.
The whole
encounter lasted 20 seconds. Tops. From the stage, I saw was getting an ugly
look from the AJC dude while his DDG date, still smiling, was writing something
on a napkin.
Ross asked,
“What was that all about?”
“Getting a
date for the 10 thing next week. I think. Maybe.”
Who knows?
She could have been writing “#*!!# off.
Minutes
later, just before we started our stand-up routine, a waitress came to the
stage and handed me the napkin with DDG's name, address, phone number, and ‘Call me tomorrow after
work. Don’t forget! Abby.” 'Forget'!? Like that was gonna happen! I looked up just in time
to see her walking out with Mr. Not-So-Wonderful trailing a few steps behind.
So I called;
we chatted a bit. Her name was Abby Thibodaux,
a rep for what we know today as Big Pharma; originally from Oxford,
Mississippi so, of course, the LSU-Ole Miss sniping started immediately. She
asked about the Friday festivities, the movie, beauty contest, dinner. I
explained the movie title was taken from an (alleged) grading scale that rated
women 1-10, with 10 the epitome of beauty, perfection of sexiness – all the
things you’d get ostracized, rejected, repudiated, banished, deported, exiled,
expatriated, clobbered, canned or shot for today – and Bo Derrick was the 10.
That’s all I knew. The beauty contest for Atlanta’s 10 was open to the first
10 to qualify –whatever that meant; we were the “Celebrity MC’s”, lending our
radio star power to draw in massive crowds. Compared to the Bo Derrick posters,
even Stevie Wonder could have guessed just how stupendously underwhelming our magnetism
was for this event. Of course, his poster would have been in Braille!
Her
apartment complex was near Cumberland Mall, not far from Perimeter Mall. (Lotta
Malls around Atlanta in the 70s.) We went on at 7; I picked her up at 6. She
was even more ravishing, dazzling, sexy as I recalled from a week earlier:
wearing the proverbial simple black dress, what I assumed were “comfortable
shoes”, carrying what looked like a black miniature duffle bag. (Not being an
authority on Women’s Handbags, Purses and Accessories, that description might
be more insulting than descriptive but stick with me…) I gallantly opened the
passenger door (men used to do mannerly things like that 40 some years ago),
she demurely got in (women used to do modest things like that before skirts got
as short as belts) and off we went, challenging Atlanta’s lingering after-work
traffic on the Perimeter, following the several spotlights waving their Come
Hither rays across the sky, totally appropriate for a World Premiere, guiding
one and all to the evening’s excitement.
There’s a
bittersweet downside to being The Date on occasions like this. While you are
with the MC, we’re working; as The Date, you’re one of the crowd, except
you’ve got the coveted VIP tag: Ticket to Everywhere. Still, much of the time,
you’re on your own. No problem for Abby; she took it all in, actually ran into
a couple friends while R&W got our schedule, directions and act together. For most of the
next hour, Abby was one of the crowd.
We were
announced promptly at 7, welcomed the crowd with a few of our customary
intemperate remarks, explained the Atlanta’s 10 contest that was about to
begin, but first…"had the extinct pleasure of introducing the star of 10,
Dudley Moore." (He was the Star - assuming you were immune to the Bo Derrick posters.)
Not knowing much about him, I managed
5-10 minutes with Dudley off the set, remarkably discovering in those few
minutes we not only appreciated each other's sense of humor but discovered a
couple of personal matters in our lives that were remarkably similar with equal
consequences. But that’s another story…
Dudley
appeared, made a few comments, got some serious laughs, and took his seat with
a few “local dignitaries” as Honorary Judge of the Atlanta’s 10 contest was about to begin.
As beauty
contests go, this one was a tad more benign than most; specifically: no
Talent competition! This was all about Personality, Composure in the face of
Ross & Wilson impertinent and lascivious Q&A, and, of course, just how well
the Contestant was packed into her bathing suit.
We had bio
sheets on each lady so things progressed smoothly and quickly with the sounds
of partisan appreciation filling the air for each Vision of Beauty who
appeared.
Until we got
to number 10 and one of the Organizers handed me a note: “Miss (name forgotten) had
dropped out due to an emergency but luckily, a last-minute replacement had been
found…please welcome Miss Abby Thibo…ABBY THIBADAUX!?” And out pranced my date,
Abby, the blond in the picture at the top of this story. Black swimsuit. Blond hair.
Big smile bordering on a giggle…wait! Where did that black swimsuit come from?
Amid the
cheers, whistles, hoots, and hollers from the Testosterone Section, I
said….
“Well, fancy
meeting YOU here!”
“Good to see
you, too!”
“Didn’t I
see you earlier this evening… somewhere else nearby?”
“Maybe – I’m
sure you’d remember me...”
(BAM! Got me
on that one.)
“But I think
you were wearing something… more than that.”
“This old
thing…?” holding out the Simple Black Dress she was clutching in one hand.
“Aren’t you
missing something?”
“Oh…this?”
Her VIP Pass. She deftly raised it over her head (explaining the pose in the
picture).
Small talk
aside, we went thru the same Q&A 1-9 did; she did great, of course. When
done, we tossed it to Dudley Moore and the judges for the decision. They
quickly picked Abby and the crowd went wild. All the girls were very attractive
– of course – but Abby was stunning, with a personality to match. Dudley
presented her with the trophy, a few last words and it was into the theater to
see Bo!
Abby dashed
off to the Ladies Room, returning in the Simple Black Dress and toting the miniature
duffle bag purse.
“So…do you
always bring your swimsuit with you on dates?”
She laughed.
“That wasn’t mine. When the other girl didn’t show, my friend got a friend who
works at Rich’s to just grab one I could wear. I guess it was OK for the
contest but too boring for me; I prefer a 2-piece.”
Got it.
Of course,
the movie was great, one of the top movies of 1979; Dudley Moore received all kinds of accolades and, later, his Best Actor Oscar nomination for Arthur. Dinner was catered by Brennan’s -- also great.
Abby and I sat with Dudley Moore, talking and laughing until he had to do
his thing for few minutes. He was gracious, funny and since someone had managed
to bring in a piano, Dudley joked and riffed through a few tunes, ending with
the opening bars from “Bolero” which – if you haven’t seen the movie -- had a
very significant role in the story!
And that
wrapped it up. The studio had a ‘private red-eye’ waiting to whisk Moore back
to L.A. We chatted briefly, exchanged unlisted phone numbers and he was gone.
Walking to
the car, I said to Abby, “Well, this has been some date! How many times do go
to a movie, win a beauty contest and have dinner with the Star?”
“Just about
every other weekend,” she deadpanned. Then laughed. “I can’t believe it! I’ve
never had an evening like this ever!”
“It’s one of
my specialties for First Dates. Glad you had a good time. And congrats on your
new title! No one will ever win that again!”
“You’re
right! So…what are we gonna do now? It’s not even midnight!”
“Well…I’d
prefer someplace to chill out. I’d say ‘your place’ but that’s too
presumptuous. I’d say ‘my place’, but the maid quit last week and the kitchen
was just named a Superfund site. Got any
suggestions?
“Hey! Didn’t
you say on the show you had a boat on Lake Lanier?”
“Sure do.”
“Is it like
a houseboat or ski boat or a rowboat?”
“26-foot Sea Ray
Sundancer. You could ski behind it, maybe even live on it, rowing would be difficult
though.”
“Why don’t
we go there? It’s a beautiful night, full moon. Quieter than any bar place in
Atlanta.”
True. Back
in the 1970s, the Lake Lanier area hadn’t yet grown to be Georgia’s Sun ‘N Fun
Mecca. Weekends were busy but at this hour, things would be pretty peaceful.
“OK. Sounds
like a plan. No swimming, tho. My Speedo is back at the house."
“Well, I don’t have mine either – but we do
have our birthday suits...”
Hmmmm…
“Well, yes,
there is that. Let’s do it.”
So off we
went. Abby opened the sunroof to turn it into a moonroof with that big Georgia
moon overhead and put the seat back to enjoy the view. There was hardly any
traffic as we zipped up GA 400. I leaned over to flip on the radio, but Abby
reached out and pushed my hand away.
The next
thing I heard, she was humming “Bolero”…
Brian, you should be writing for Playboy AND
ReplyDeleteyour next book with this one. This is classic and enough to make a 76 year old like me need to take a cold shower! The life and times of Ross & Wilson sure had it's benefits. Great story!